This past Saturday night, Lisa, Jon, Ron Forbes, Gdowik, Greg, and I went to an American University party in Friendship Heights. The attendees at this party were all in the graduate film program, so they were a little indie, awkward, and very random (apparently also very sexual as there was a bowl of condoms-- her pleasure-- on a table in the dance room). Greg and I were tearing up the dance floor, and SPOTTED was a a little person, dancing by himself outside of the circle. Greg dared me to dance with him. I took on this dare.
I danced with wee man, and it was quite enjoyable. I don't know what I enjoyed most, the fact that he came up to right below my breasts, or his tiny, delicate little hands -- hands that were merely half Aljaj's size (and quite soft too). He had little bitty ears and a facial hair, that gave him the appearance of a leprechaun. I was enamored. We danced for a while. I then encouraged him to bust a move, solo, in the middle of the dance floor. An eruption ensued when everyone at the party began chanting his name -- "Danny". Oh Danny boy! He whipped out moves that only a person of his build could hit perfectly. Lisa got to dance with him for around 25 seconds until Danny boy set his eyes on me again. Me, with my 5'10 stature (without heels), towered over his 4'7 body. Soulmates, one wonders? I believe he might have thought so.
On our way out, Danny boy tells me to wait. Lisa told me the next day that he ran from person to person, asking for a pen. Apparently, he found one. When he said his farewells to me, he handed me his business card. I thanked him and departed. Upon further review of said business card, Danny wrote me a message: "I would love to dance with you again". Oh Danny boy. What a charmer he is!
On Monday, Lisa and I spent a good amount of our work day searching for Danny on Facebook. Unfortunately, I didn't have the business card with me, so we had no clue what his last name was. I found a random Danny from American that might have been him. Lisa friended him instantly. We were quite enthralled with this profile, as he was listed as a firefighter who was interested in jigs, smoking, and ambling (for those who have no previous equestrian experience, ambling is a gait of a horse, in between a walk and a canter (Google cantering if you do not know what this)). Imagine our excitement that Lisa would soon be friends with a little person firefighter who rides horses. I mean, I used to teach horseback riding. Never in my years did I see a dwarf riding a horse. Is this even possible? How would he mount it? How many times would he have to wrap the stirrups for his tiny legs? Not to mention the fact that the horse might not even feel his heels for commands and control! We presumed ponies were his thing. Also, if a little person tried saving me from a fire, I would soon say my prayers and goodbyes, as no one with Danny's midge hands could carry my "thick white woman" frame, as so said by Brandon Smith.
Unfortunately, this was not the correct Danny. After reviewing the business card, I realized we had the wrong last name. Fortunately, we found his profile. Lisa jumped on Facebook and friended the real Danny boy. I, on the other hand, have felt restraint as to adding him. As much as I adore Chelsea Handler, I do not need a little person shadowing my life. Nor am I like Elise's secretary, who has a midget fetish and frequents a bar in DC called "Hawks and Doves" for it's lure for the little race.
After Danny accepted Lisa's friend request, he sent her a message inquiring about how she found him on Facebook when they had no mutual friends. She pretended to be interested in his film production, but he had remembered meeting her at this party. Read the below correspondence for insight into Danny's life:
Danny
Lisa, how did you find me on Facebook? Not that I was hiding, but we have no friends in common.
Lisa
Hey Danny!
I remember you saying you did your own production and I think that is awesome! I was asking my friend who is in the film department at American about it and he said you had some good information about your company on your website.... soooooo that lead me to your facebook! Sorry if it creeped you out! haha. Not my intention.
Hope you are doing well!
I remember you saying you did your own production and I think that is awesome! I was asking my friend who is in the film department at American about it and he said you had some good information about your company on your website.... soooooo that lead me to your facebook! Sorry if it creeped you out! haha. Not my intention.
Hope you are doing well!
Danny
Oh I see. Very cool. Yes, I'm well. Please let me know if I can be of help to you in any way. Since you've already checked out my website, I hope you have a good idea of the kind of work I do.
I went to a big house party last weekend and was going to make the offhand assumption that I had met you there. As you might imagine, my memory of that particularly evening is not perfect...
Lisa
hahaha! yes, as a matter of fact that is where i met you! I wouldn't have expected you to remember me... we spoke only briefly.
Danny
See, that's totally what I thought - but I wasn't going to SAY anything for fear of guessing incorrectly and coming across like some kind of man-whore. Right?
Lisa
haha yup!
Danny
Did I dance with you?
Because... I really think I did.
Lisa
haha yeah, we did but only for a short time
Danny
Great. That was exactly what I thought this morning.
(when I saw your friend request)
See, I have over 1,600 friends and most of them are initiated by me. I'm a consummate networker. For work and for play. So I actually admire the fact that you found me here because frankly that's what I usually do.
Lisa
haha yeah, i am the same way
so when i wanna find someone, i will
- hope thats not creepy hah
Danny
Precisely. You have even more friends than I do! But I'm older... so in theory I've had more time to meet people.
Anyway, I don't usually go to parties like that but one every since months or so I feel the inclination to cut loose.
Lisa
yeah, i just moved to the area a little ago and it was fun!
Danny
I see. You graduated from V-Tech? Where'd you grow up?
VA Beach! Sounds exotic.
Lisa
haha yup!
Danny
So what are you doing up here in DC? Or where do you live? (I live quite close to Jeremy/Jai's place on Ingomar St.)
Lisa
i work for the govt as a contract specialist
and i love in arlington
live*
but i also love it haha
Danny
Well, if you're flexible enough you can love in anywhere. (bah-dum pshhh)
That's cool, though. So how'd you get invited to that house party? I went to school with most of those hooligans.
Lisa
my good friend from VT (the black guy if you remember) is good friends with Jay from childhood
Danny
Well I saw at least two black guys other than Jai but I get you.
Lisa
it was the one who was a good dancer, and super skinny
Danny
Hey, thanks for dancing with me, by the way. Sometimes it feels like middle school with everyone lined up around the sides. Obviously the solution is to drink more and get on the dance floor.
Lisa
haha oh yeah! i LOVE to dance so i am always willing to throw myself on the dance floor
Danny
Most women are... tough for them to find a dance partner.
Now once I become a master chef and seamstress, I'll be the most eligible bachelor with less than a six figure salary.
Lisa
haha touche!
Danny
Well, thanks again for looking me up. I use my Facebook wall to post on issues that interest me... but I still use chat and messaging to stay in touch.
Lisa
sounds great!
Danny
... and if you're headed to a DC party and want someone to dance with, now you know who to ask.
Lisa
it was nice talking to you
haha you got it!
Danny
Adieu.
Lisa
goodnight!
Lisa has also provided us with a good visual reference. He has limited pictures, so this will have to do in justifying his height. We are unsure as to his classification for Dwarfism. If anyone can give us some insight, we would be quite gracious.
