Christ has risen.

... again. What is this, like the 2010th (or 2009th) time this has happened? A little repetitive, don't you think Jesus? Hopefully his first words to Mary after this "resurrection" were something along the lines of "Bitch, make me a sandwich." I mean, I would be hungry after 3 days of being trapped in a tomb, not to mention the whole "crucifixion" thing. They probably didn't feed him while on that damn cross. And really, I'd be so pissed at Judas for selling me out, and then having to wait like 6 weeks to ascend to Heaven. That blows. After my resurrection, I'd find Judas and make HIM make me that sandwich INSTEAD of my poor virgin mother. Hopefully he would learn the error of his ways after the realization of that a. I am resurrected b. I am not a zombie and c. I am the mother fucking Son of God. Don't mess with the best, Judas.