ShamROCK Fest

Yesterday, March 13th, was Shamrock Fest. Essentially, a day to drink. Drinking is fun. Thus this day was fun. Now, the post below is a vague recollection of what actually went on, as I am quite unsure of all the details due to the "drinking is fun" remark. Drinking has a weird affect on memory... I don't know if it affects anyone else like that. Sometimes I think no one else in the world has discovered the magnificence of alcohol, as no one is stupid enough to subject themselves to a hangover. Hangovers are the worst. The worst.

ANYWAYS, Shamrock Fest. It was fun. It started out with me waking up at the butt crack of dawn aka 6:30am. Why you ask? Who the hell knows. Thanks body. Thank biological clock, as I really really need a wake up call.

So I wake up, go make some oatmeal, go upstairs, do my hair (my hair will be another entry of itself... it's its own entity), pack up, and go pick up Jon (Jon is one of two of my oldest friends). We have some friends from college who live in Arlington, where we stay on the weekends (him more often than me).  We get there, and one of our friends, Tiffani, is visiting from Tech (Virginia Tech that is... I am an '09 grad). She dates our friend Hastings. Hastings lives with Goetz (these are last names, they have the same first name, Matt, drive the exact same car, look alike, and are BFF4L, so cute!). Jon, Hastings, Goetz, Tiffani, and I go get some Pho. What a great way to start an Irish festival day. Eating Vietnamese soup. Did I mention I already ate oatmeal? Yes I did. Did I also mention it's raining? And one more thing I don't know if I mentioned- I did my hair. I curled it to be exact. Rain is not conducive to maintaining curled hair. Remember- it's an entity itself.

From the Pho restaurant, I stole a chopstick because it's raining and I have to wear a black/greyish poncho, so why not steal a chopstick to make myself look like a Harry Potter character? I wanted to be a Dementor.

After Pho, we head to the ABC store. I buy Jameson for our Car Bombs (my demise). Goetz and Jon buy some sh*t to make some Green Alligator drink (also my demise).

We head over to Jenny and Kaye's apartment (I will refer to them individually or as a whole as "Kenny"). Kenny are our friends from Tech as well. We get there, and there are a whole bunch of people I don't know. So I did what anyone would do, I do a Car Bomb. Of course I didn't do it by myself, don't be stupid. Kenny, Goetz, Jon and I did one. I beat them....

Anyways, Goetz makes me this drink called the Green Alligator which consists of Bicardi Lemon, Bicardi 151, Orange Juice, Sweet and Sour mix, and that blue raspberry stuff that no one really knows the name of.  I have a few of those. One more Car Bomb (I win again- I have a big mouth...).
I'm gone. Cya later.

We take the metro to Shamrock Fest. I don't remember this very much, I wish I did. At this point I love my poncho. Loved it.

We get there, and it's so rainy. Who cares though? I brought about 70 dollars with me.... I woke up this morning with 30. I don't remember spending 40 dollars. I know I bought three drink tickets, and some fish and chips at one point. Hrmm.... this is all besides the point.

At one time, we ran under a tent for some reason (no idea why.... it rained all day, it's not like we were trying to stay dry.). We are in this tent, and Kaye and I started talking to these two guys who ended up being brothers. One was cuter than the other, and he is the one I will call Tall Cute Boy (TCB). TCB and I are chatting, which I guess you could consider flirting? I don't know how to flirt. TCB tells me he went to Tech. COOL INSTANT LOVE. For those who are reading (I doubt anyone is) and don't know me (I honestly don't think I am interesting enough to be read unless you know me), I am EXTREMELY picky when it comes to the opposite sex and all those rules of attraction. I don't think of myself as picky, but I guess everyone else does. Why is it so much to ask for a guy taller than me (I am 5'10, so this is the number one biggest difficulty), cute, NOT balding, employed, with a sense of humor? This is the rough outline of what I need in a man. I don't need a scrub, a fug, or a freak. TCB seemed to have all these things. He was tall (I only remember him being tall because I had to look up), cute (I think he was cute, but who knows really, I had some Green Alligator goggles on), funny, from Tech, and relatively put together. Kaye ended up telling me he was cute, so my Green Alligator goggles weren't on. He was great. I felt 'chemistry'-- wtf is chemistry-- and I wanted him to like me. He ended up having to leave because his brother had to go. Now, I don't remember if HE asked or I asked him, but I know I ended up giving him my number... in his brother's phone. If a guy says he doesn't have his phone with him, and needs his brother's phone to take my number, do I believe him? He called me so he could store my number, so I thought "Well he called me, so at least I have his brother's number....". NO. The number came up as "Unknown" when I looked later. WTF. Jackass TCB blocked his brother's number from me??? SIGH WHY ME GOD WHY. I am a spinster in training.

My Post-TCB experience was foggy... I know I got separated from Kenny, Goetz, Jon, Ashley (another friend from Tech), and MJ (some guy I met at Kenny's apt). I don't remember who else was there??? Is that bad?? I don't remember who we went with, god damned alcohol. I remember MJ and I going to watch The Roots (the only band I really wanted to see, I saw them in Richmond three years ago, love it). The drummer threw his towel out to the audience, and I caught it. So great. I was so happy. I know I kept telling MJ I didn't know where my phone was, but I didn't care- I had that towel.

We found Kenny (Kaye had my phone, along with Jon's). We didn't know where Jon, Ashley, or Goetz were. This is when I bought my fish and chips. I think it was good. We went to watch Train.

Train was interesting. We stood there for about an hour waiting. In my head I thought "Why the hell am I standing in the rain, surrounded by people (people who like Train enough to stand here and wait aka NOT my type of people) being pushed and shoved, waiting to listen to a band who I've only heard three songs from? Soul Sister, Drops of Jupiter, and Meet Virginia..."I felt like a super fan, without actually being a fan. So I guess I just felt super? No. I did not. Some guy pissed me off, and then asked me what color my eyes were, and I sassed him because he pissed me off, and he looked at MJ and told him "She is SO HOT isn't she??" This pissed me off even more.

So, I'm still waiting, and I chatted it up with a mother-daughter duo who looked like a cross between a biker dyke chick (no offense to gays... I love you obvi) and a unicorn/butterfly t-shirt wearing, french braiding girl. The mother was a bitch. She liked me though, so when another friend of ours, Carrie, came to stand with us, she didn't get mad. Thank god. She was scary. She told off more people than I can count about pushing their way up to the stage (we were right up on that stage... very optimal spots if you you are a Trainette-- I will explain that soon).

So Train came on, and the lead singer was gay, but he is married to a woman. He was very small. His legs did not touch. I do not like that in a man. BUT the girls LOVED him. He at one point called a few girls up on stage, gave them all a t-shirt, and made them sing along with him. Cool guy. The tshirt said "Trainette". I would not be caught dead in such a garmet. Trainette? Am I a cross between a form of transportation run by coal and a hairnette? No.

The mother and daughter kept saying they wanted to fuck the singer. I was disturbed. They said it more than once. Gross.

I wanted the drummer, but I just googled him and found out he is a religious artist, who is the brother of Carrie Underwood. Religious music.  I am embarrassed now that in my drunken stupor I was so infatuated. I can't emphasize this enough - religious music . Religion. Jesus. All that has to do with the bible, blood of Christ, and metal fish you put on cars.

Jon was not with us at this time, and I had his phone. On our way home we found out that he metro'd back to Arlington by himself, went back and forth between Goetz/Hastings' and Kenny's apartments, with no luck getting into either, took a 30 dollar taxi cab home thinking it was 7 AM, realizing it was 7 PM when back at home, drove back to Arlington, and called me cunt more than enough times because I had his phone (he was using Goetz's phone, who also ended up back in Arlington??)

Jon stole the damn couch, so we had to feet to head it as there was no where else for me to sleep. Realizing mid way through the night how awfully uncomfortable that was, I moved to the floor.

I woke up in pain in the morning, and Jon informed me Hastings was not there, and I could sleep in his bed. Thanks Jon. Thanks for telling me when I wake up.

We slept a little more, woke up and went to Ray's Hell Burger, which was the most erotic burger I've ever had. Never had I tasted such a delightful thing. It dominates 5 Guys hands down. And there were sweet potato fries involved.

I drove home, and wrote this long ass posting.


XOXO,

Me